Posted by: Dennie | July 14, 2013

Brave

I heard this song for the first time yesterday and took it as yet another of the many nudges I’ve been receiving from my Higher Power these days. It so moved  me that I knew I had to incorporate it into a post. I chose this particular video not only for the lyrics,  the content also impacted me–the little girls.

I was about their age when my life changed. My innocence was stolen from me by a very sick individual and for years, I suffered in guilty silence. Eventually exposed, the “incident” was handled, but the unspoken message I received was “this is something bad, this is something we do not discuss.” I lived with shame. I lived with the delusion that it was my fault, and that I could have prevented it. I believe the experience was part of the equation which would lead to my alcoholism.

Happily, today I have been released of that burden of guilt. To say I have forgiven the individual might be a stretch, but I no longer harbor any anger. Today I am free.

The little girls in that video  reminded me of  me at that age and how on a hot summer day I jumped into someone’s  swimming pool fully dressed. The memory made me smile.  The little girls also make me think of my husband’s granddaughters. At ten and eight years old, they can be shy or brazen, silent or vocal, brave or fearful. I see how already, they wrestle with those inner conflicts and I wish I could pass my strength onto them. No-I wish I could teach them, show them how to find the strength that resides within, teach them to tap that strength, to listen to their own voice, to be unafraid, to be BRAVE.  I wish I could convey to them that they need not fear anything. That they are the only ones who can hold themselves back. The sky is the limit. I wish I could give them what has taken me–is still taking–decades to learn– that self knowledge is the key to strength.

My writing frequently surprises me with the direction it takes. This is one of those times. This post began with the idea of correlating “Brave” with the “No Fear” book and while it didn’t turn out the way I had originally thought, what I did get was this; gut wrenching fear to expose yet another very personal intimacy about my life while the words to the song repeated in my head; “And since your history of silence won’t do you any good, did you think it would? Let your words be anything but empty, why don’t you tell them the truth? Say what you wanna say, and let the words fall out. I wanna see you be brave.”

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Responses

  1. Well Done


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