Posted by: Dennie | September 5, 2013

A Day For Me

Today is A Day For Me.

Off from work, I elected to stay  home by myself. No husband. No errands. No shopping.  Just taking time to catch up and slow down.

Doing stuff.

I have a tendency to expect  a lot more of myself than I do of other people.  I put pressure on me to accomplish “stuff that needs to get done.” Bills, laundry, cleaning, bank statements, filing paperwork…. chores that are long overdue.

I also have the “stuff that needs to get done, but isn’t such a chore”. Tasks I rather enjoy. Like working in my teeny tiny garden. Washing my car.

Then there are the self  improvement projects to keep up with the world of technology.  Learning WordPress, figuring out  my replacement cell phone. Understanding my  laptop and  my  iPad. Grasping technical information  is time-consuming and complicated for me and I am a slow learner. I can spend hours and get nowhere.

Finally, I have the things I want to do. Notice they are at the bottom of the list. Reading for pleasure. Working out.

And writing.

This summer, I discovered that writing is my passion.

For years I thought I had no passion, in the sense of an interest consuming me.  A while ago, I  completed a life assessment from AARP Life Reimagined.  A portion of the exercise asked to specify particular activities I love. Pastimes in which I lost myself, lost track of time.

I couldn’t name one.

While I was disappointed that the little quiz couldn’t help me figure out what to do with my life, I wasn’t surprised. I knew I had nothing which inspired, moved or pushed me to broaden my horizons, to grow. To have some purpose.

But it made me think.  My heart and gut told me I’m not here on this earth to take up space. For years I’ve been on a quest to find my purpose. My way to leave a mark. To give back.

And then, last spring, serendipity stepped in. Without even looking I found an online freelance writing course. It was intriguing. It was affordable. And I could fit it into my days.

I took it. I loved it. It was just the springboard I needed to get writing. Yet again.

I’ve started and stopped over the years. Why, I can’t say.  Fear, I suppose. Insecurity. Lack of time. All poor excuses.

Those excuses still exist within me.  But I recognize them now as nothing more that.  Excuses that allow myself to stagnate. To live with the status quo. To ignore the desire for something more, the drive to do better. To be better. To grow.

I am reminded of my decision to get sober. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Something had to give, and I knew in my heart what it was.

I made a decision.  Just do it. And I did.

And here I am again today. Just doing it.

Like getting sober, I want everything to happen quickly. I wanted to have the experience of ten years’ sobriety in ten  days. But getting better took time and is still taking time. I  I don’t know where this  writing will take me. I don’t know if it will somehow allow me to make a difference, leave a legacy, give back.  For now, it takes me out of myself. I get lost in the words.  I start and don’t want to stop. Hours melt into one another before I ever look at the clock. I have finally realized my passion. And for now, that’s enough.

It’s my day off. Have I done any laundry? No. Have I finished my bank statements? No. Have I cleaned my kitchen, washed the floors, dusted, vacuumed or paid any bills?

No, no, no, no and NO.

It’s one thirty in the afternoon.

I haven’t touched any of the “stuff.”

But then I look at the title of this post. A Day For Me.

And it’s ok.

It’s all good.

This is my life, Reimagined. This is what I want to be when I grow up.

It took me fifty-seven years.  But I finally figured it out.


  1. See what happens when you heed your heart and gut. 🙂 Bravo!

  2. Love this.. You are taking care of you.. Nurturing yourself and soul.. Tis is no easy task for me, and I believe a lot of women.. It seems easier to do your tasks, get stuff done, than sit, breath and just be.. I’m inspired.. And I look forward to being completely ok with just being…
    Thank you for this lovely post.. I see your writing as defiantly something.. You got it .. And I am inspired..

    • Thanks, Lex….isn’t always easy.

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