Posted by: Dennie | September 14, 2013


I hate feeling powerless. Yet all-too-often, I do. I am powerless over people, places and things. Yuck.

But I am not powerless over me.

I know that if I’m not aware of a personal character defect, then I am powerless to do anything about it.  Knowledge is power. And to acknowledge, or be aware, can allow change.


After I become aware of something, I have two choices. If the something is within me, I can move to change it.  A behavior, a bad habit, a mindset. All of those are within my power to change me. Or not.

If the something is not within me, well, that’s  different. I also have two options and both are difficult. One is stupid. If I choose the stupid  option, I can rail against whatever the something is, a situation, someone else’s behavior or thinking, a dreaded upcoming event. I can fight against it, bite and claw like a dog with a bone. The option is stupid, for me, because it doesn’t do me any good. It winds me up and brings me down. It stunts my growth.

Then there is the second option, the one which ultimately will benefit me.



Why? Why do I have to accept “the things I cannot change?” Whaaa, whaaaa, whaaaa. That is more often than not my initial reaction to something I don’t like or want.

Acceptance. “It means accepting the fact of a situation, then deciding what we will do about it. Acceptance can be empowering because it makes choice possible.”  (Courage To Change, Al-Anon).

Accepting does not mean liking. But the upshot is personal benefit. For example, I don’t necessarily like working out. I’m not a morning person and  I don’t like getting up in the dark at 5 am to go to the gym, nor do I like  going  after working all day. But those are my choices. So I make one and  I do it. Most days. Because it benefits me. It keeps my body strong, and clears my mind. I also have the choice not to go, and feel like crap, but  that choice isn’t good for me. It doesn’t make me feel better.

Another example. I haven’t posted in two days. My blog has been calling me. I set my alarm for 5:10 this morning, even though it’s Saturday, so I could write. Do I like getting up so early on my day off? Nope. But I’ve got a busy day and evening ahead and I know I’ll feel better. So here I am.


Action. Encarta dictionary: 1). Doing something toward a goal. 2). Something done-the process of doing something toward a purpose. 3). Movement-the way somebody or something moves.

Taking action in order to achieve personal benefit. Sometimes the action I need to take is one that cannot be seen, and one with which I struggle the most. An inside job. The action that will benefit me personally to provide me with peace and serenity is accepting the things I cannot change.

Awareness, acceptance, action. So simple, and yet so difficult.




  1. Reblogged this on My two bits about life and work.

  2. I can relate to all that you have written. Though there are some bullies in powerful position who do irritate me and I can not even accept their bullying. Otherwise in most of the cases, I am ok with what I choose. As they say the time you like wasting is not wasted.

    • Bullies suck. Whether kids or adults, they are fearful weaklings who build themselves through others’ whom they perceive to be weaker. Stand up to the bastards.
      Thanks for your comments.

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