Posted by: Dennie | November 26, 2013

Grams? Grandmas? Graham Crackers? Coke?

English: A Graham cracker.

I came into AA when both  my kids were relatively young, twelve and nine. They’ve been to my anniversaries, met my sponsors and heard me talk about meetings and the program. They’ve always been very supportive.

So I felt an odd sense of curious disquiet when I received the following text from my oldest tonight:

Got 2 grams for $40.”

And the next:

Whoops. Wrong person. Sorry.”

What?!  Who the hell  had she intended to send that to? And did it mean what I think it meant?

This is a child whom, to my knowledge, has never done anything illegal in her life. She’s a good kid, and I think she’d be scared shitless of two things; one-getting arrested or in some kind of trouble, and two, having to deal with me. And I think  the fear of  the second might be worse than the first.

So the text really threw me. And because I wasn’t sure how to respond, I texted her back, misspelling everything as I went:




I thought maybe I’d wig her out a bit with that response. She might freak. Thinking I was onto her, if in fact there was something to be on to.

I waited. I was really perplexed. This seemed so unlike her. But, really, I don’t spend a lot of time with her anymore. She lives a few hours away, is engaged to a nice guy, they have friends whom I’ve never met….

…they’re going away to Vermont for Thanksgiving. Maybe they’re going to party hard. She’s been stressed at work….

Ding…another text.

She replied,


Is she stalling? Does she think she’s busted?

Me: “Grams…of whay?”  “What I meam.” “I can’t spell.”

I was surprisingly calm, even though I didn’t like some of the thoughts I was having. But I waited. To see what she’d do next.

Ding….her reply,

Graham crackers!

And I shot back,

Expensive crackers.

Then she responded,

Haha. I’m sending you a link.

And I knew. I knew my kid wasn’t buying grams of coke and sticking them up her nose. I knew she was just trying to get me.

But the joke was on her, because I kept my head. I waited for evidence. For textual stuttering. Back pedaling.

And there was nothing.

But this:

So I ha-ha’d and texted that her the little gag was a bit disturbing.  And I hoped she got a good laugh.

She responded that  I was a good sport.

To which I said,

“I hope u r too because you just gave me my blog topic for tonight!

And she replied,

Uh-oh. I won’t read it.

It’s okay sweetie. I don’t mind if you read it or not. I’m pretty sure at least a few people will.


I love you.

Good night.


(PS…Apparently this has been around for a while.  My husband read about it on line or in a paper somewher and was surprised I “fell” for it. Guess I’m just not up to date on that stuff.)

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